A client came into their first session recently
A highly capable individual with an impressive track record
On the outside, things looked fine. Competence was evident. Progress was happening.
And yet internally, there’s a persistent sense of lagging behind.
Not because they were failing but because they were measuring themselves against imagined, abstract standards.
Against people of whom they rarely see the full picture of their journey.
Over time, that comparison quietly creates pressure.
When this type of pressure builds up, discomfort and self doubt could creep in
🤔 ‘I am lagging behind’
🤔 ‘I should be further along by now.‘
🤔 ‘What is happening to me?’
🤔 ‘Others are doing much better than me’
🤔 ‘I feel like something is missing’.
What often helps isn’t working harder — it’s recalibrating the lens.
Some questions I often use to ground such clients
💭 If you continue on this line of thought, where would it lead you to?
💭 ‘ What progress are you overlooking because it feels “normal” now?
💭 What assumptions are you making about where you should be?
💭 What standards are you measuring yourself against?
💭If you measured growth by learning instead of speed, what would change?
It is also important to state clearly, that feeling “behind” is not always wrong.
Sometimes, it’s a sign that you’re stretching beyond what once felt familiar and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
A Coach can help you distinguish between a healthy and unhealthy discomfort.
It is healthy to feel grateful but not settle
It is healthy to be satisfied yet still hunger for more
It is healthy to be inspired by others while acknowledging that your journey is unique to you
I’m curious — what helps you regain perspective when an unhealthy comparison starts to creep in?
